When someone you love is struggling with addiction, you often rehearse conversations they never hear. You lie awake searching for the right words.

You pick up the phone, then put it down. You want to say something. You are frightened of their response. Meanwhile, keeping quiet hurts too.

I know this from the other side. My sister Kathy and my friend Brad reached out when I needed help. Their willingness to speak to me is part of my recovery story.

What has stayed with me is where their concern came from. It came from love.

This is part of what I share in my online course, The Conversation. Before you decide what to say, ask yourself how you want your loved one to feel when they hear you.

Think about your tone, your timing and whether you are ready to listen. Your fear deserves care too. Give yourself time to settle before you begin.

You might start with something simple. “I love you. I’m worried about you. I’d like to understand how things have been for you.” Then pause.

Let them answer. Resist the urge to fill every silence or explain every concern at once. Give them room to speak, even when their words are difficult to hear.

You do not need a perfect speech. Start with an honest expression of love and concern. One conversation will not resolve everything, and you are not responsible for someone else’s recovery.

But speaking with care gives you a way to say what has been sitting painfully inside you. “You matter to me. I want to listen.”

NEED HELP? THE CONVERSATION: https://www.markaistonmedia.com/conversation

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